"Feelin' Groovy"

God it's amazing what happens in life when you DECIDE to make a change, admit you have a problem, then DO something about it.

Funny how free I feel now that I finally allowed myself to "bare it all, baby!"

Recently, I started a Paleo Challenge that The Jer, Voltron and a few others challenged folks to. I quit dairy. I had already quit sugar and gluten, so that part was easy. I quit drinking (my own decision--not part of the challenge.)

It is truly amazing where life will take you if you let it.

Dairy, especially grain fed dairy, elicits an insulin response much like grains do, which is why it's not part of the Paleo diet. What's really interesting here, is that I had already given up dairy...EXCEPT for the cream I put in my coffee. Admittedly, I drink about 1/8 c. half n half per cup, and I drink 2-3 cups per day but when I gave this up, I have to admit, I noticed a pronounced difference.

I used to get sleepy right after I drank my coffee. I mean dopey sleepy. I got a noticeable insulin response, but I wasn't ready to do anything about it.

Coffee also, to some degree, elicits an insulin response. I am very very sensitive to insulin. I know I was heading towards diabetes when I gave up sugar and alcohol the first time, which is one of the reasons I quit. Robb Wolf mentioned that the AMA keeps raising the "rules" for what constitutes diabetes specifically so they don't have to admit that we are in the midst of an epidemic.

I'm thin; I'm supposed to be immune from all that!

Bullshit.

Anyway, giving up cream is putting me one step closer to "all day long nirvana." I eat, I feel good. I am feeling less and less exhausted after meals, unlike how I used to feel.

This is excellent.

August 31 is my new sobriety date.

Thanks to everyone for your support.

My Deal

It's been a long time since I've written on the blog. Truth be told, now that I'm in a position of "authority" (coaching a bootcamp and interning at TCFA), I've been a bit reticent to "let it all hang out" like I used to.

I've been censoring myself. "Should I say that?" "Does that sound unprofessional?" "Is that a bad thing to let others see?", etc.

FUCK IT!

I have discovered something about myself. Actually, I've always known this, but I'll say it loud and clear here: I NEED TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE TO OTHERS.

I LIKE for people to see my wins, my losses, my pain, my frustration, my anger, my angst. I NEED to at least feel that someone is paying attention, so that I can't get away with murder. I need to spill my guts. I need to tell on myself. I need to be allowed to be imperfect, and I don't care if anyone has a problem with that.

So there. I feel better getting that out.

Now onto the real reasons I need to write:

I AM RECOMMITTING TO SOBRIETY.

Once again, I don't care if you think drinking is awesome or you want to drink or you like to drink or you don't think I (or anyone else) needs to not drink. I don't.

"What's true for you, is what's true for you. It is what you have observed yourself."

YOU may be able to handle, beer, gluten, flour and dog poo for all I care. I CANNOT.

There are certain things that I allow myself from time to time--alcohol and sugar being two of them.

BUT...especially with alcohol it then becomes too much of a battle, and I have better things I'd rather think about.

Here's the deal. It's not that I have to drink, that I crave a drink (okay maybe a little) or anything like that.

It's that because I've spent so much of my life SOBER, I know how much better I can be without it, and the comparison of "before" and "after" pisses me off.

When I start allowing myself to drink on the weekends, my performance suffers during the week. My mood suffers. My drive to succeed suffers.

Sometimes it's only a little bit, but it's there. I KNOW THIS.

And I can't stand it any longer.

I can't stand watching myself become more interested in "relaxing with a beer" than running. I can't stand when I'd rather have a glass of wine than train.

I AM FIERCELY COMPETITIVE, AND I MAKE NO APOLOGIES FOR THIS.

And I can't stand to think I am losing my edge--even just a little bit.

SO I AM BACK ON THE WAGON AGAIN...BY CHOICE!!!!!

Because, dammit, I want to go to the games next year. I want to be competitive. I want to be better than I am. And for me, each time I say no to alcohol and sugar I get a little bit mentally tougher. Each time I don't give into those urges, I gain confidence and I PHYSICALLY feel better.

Truth be told, NOT DRINKING MAKES ME EDGY...and I LOVE taking that edginess and putting it into training. It's the same reason I enjoy a bit of self-denial in my food choices. I am in control. The food and alcohol are not.

Lots of athletes don't drink. Many coaches prohibit it during the training season.

This is something I WANT for myself.

There I said it.

I feel much better now.

I AM COMMITTING TO STAYING SOBER THROUGH MY BIRTHDAY, NOVEMBER 14TH, FOR STARTERS.

Wham Bam, Thank you Ma'am!

Cool!!!!!

Vanessa and Michael Keating really helped me further hone in my Clean and Jerk and Snatch. I FINALLY got to fully experience "getting under the bar" rather than muscling my way through it.

It was much easier, and I PR'ed as a result.

Crazy how good this Relative Intensity training is. My PR Power Clean less than one month ago was 80#. Today my max was 103#.

Nuts. My old record recorded originally a few months ago of max kipping pullups was 14. Today I hit 22.

I also did JT today. 21-15-9 of handstand pushups, ring dips and chest to deck pushups.

I still had to scale. My handstand pushups started out with 2-25# weights and one abmat. I managed 8 before I failed. I only did 4 ring dips (my max) each set. I did all of my pushups to standard. This took me about 12 minutes.

What is really cool is once again, not 3 weeks ago, I had to use 3 abmats for my handstand push ups. Now I am almost down to two.

The human body is an amazing machine. I love making mine stronger and better!

Backsquat PR--FINALLY!!

I've been working on my backsquat for the last 2 months, and I just haven't been able to break above 130#...until yesterday.

Finally! I'm at 135#. I swear, it felt like my guts were going to come out (but it was a good "guts gonna fall out" kind of feeling).

My core strength is greatly increasing.

On Monday I did a Relative Intensity WOD of: AMRAP in 30 mins of: 5 pull ups; 10 ring dips ( I scaled to 50% of my max reps and did sets of 2 ring dips); 15 sit ups.

I managed 25 rounds. That means I did 125 pullups (and only one tear!); 50 ring dips and a whopping 375 sit ups. (I have two beautiful strawberries on my butt to prove it!)

I have officially reached my original goal. I am "stronger than I've ever been in my life".

I am also a super proud member of the Team CrossFit Academy USAW Weightlifting Team! Never in my wildest dreams did I EVER imagine I would be interested in that. But I LOVE weightlifting! I feel so strong and powerful every time I hoist a big load over my head. I can't wait until my Clean & Jerk and Snatch are beautiful--MOST of the time!

I had another nice PR last night during the mini WOD too. We were asked to do 3 Rounds for time of: 15 kipping pullups and 10 kb swing snatches. I did my first set of kipping pullups without stopping. That is a new PR!

Great! Let's keep pushing it to see how much stronger I can become.

"Top of the Board"

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!

My life is so cool. I never knew it could be this good.

As mentioned before, I started doing Relative Intensity about 6 weeks ago. On June 25, I did the WOD, "Barbara" for the first time. (Actually, it was my second time. My first time was a year ago when I first started CrossFit. I couldn't get past 2 rounds.) Barbara is 5 rounds for time of: 20 pull ups, 30 push ups, 40 sit ups, 50 squats. I had a respectable time of 36:27 putting me behind Flower's 33:12 and Katie's 35:45.

Yesterday, I set out to beat my old time, and I hoped I could come close to beating Flower. You see, Flower is a major bad ass, a woman I highly respect and a tremendous athlete. When I first came to CrossFit just over a year ago, certain women intimidated me just b/c they were so strong--she was one of them.

Well, I smoked Barbara yesterday!! Now I have a new PR time of 30:17, which means I actually beat one of my heroes! How cool is that?

It's amazing when you can dream a dream, set a goal, do the work and watch it come to fruition.

I set a goal a while back that I wanted to "be on top of the board". Well, now (at least on one WOD), I am. Amazing.

It seems I am becoming the athlete I have so long admired in others. Wow. I am honored and humbled.

There are still many women in CrossFit both at TCFA and as a whole who kick my ass in MANY MANY things! I love watching them work. For example, I love watching Vanessa lift. That women is a power house--so strong, so tough when needed as a coach, yet a wonderfully kind and warm individual.

I love watching Perla too, who exemplifies those same qualities.

Of course my heroes include the CrossFit superstars, Tanya Wagner, Carey Kepler, Kris Clever and Jolie Gentry--as we should always shoot for the stars.

Wow. Amazing.

I have a lot of work to do. Handstand pushups, muscle ups, double unders--these are the next things on my agenda.

Let's do it.

Relative Intensity Team

I've been doing a Relative Intensity Study since the 8th of June with a small group of folks out of TCFA. It's been an interesting experience so far, and I have to say that it IS working!

Within a month, so far, here are some of the benefits:

My Fran time dropped by about 3 minutes
My shoulder press went from 70 to 75 lbs
My bench press went from 65 to 80 lbs
My Clean & Jerk went from 95 to 100
My Snatch went from 55 to 65 lbs

Basically we do the main site WODS in order from January, and we scale them accordingly based on formulas derived by Pierre Auge of CrossFit Ottawa.

Although I miss running something fierce, I have to admit I am getting pretty good results so far.

Sugar is the Devil

Okay, that's it!

Today I commit to 90 Days of Excellence regarding my diet. I will be eating a combo Paleo/Zone diet with intermittent fasting, as I enjoy the challenge of "extreme" self-discipline.

In short, I do better when I measure my food.

The intermittent fasting will be a new thing for me, but as Robb Wolf said, if I "look better, feel better and perform better" then I'll know it's working. If not, I'll restructure.

More on that later.

All I know is that I need to recommit to my diet and to the Relative Intensity WOD's with a vengeance. There is no excuse for not pursuing both of these with incredible fervor! Bring it on!